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Donna Shin Wellness Coach

change

Change

Change is a constant in life whether we like it or not.  What do you think of when you consider change? Of course, it depends on what it is that is changing. Some changes are positive and exciting and bring promise and hope. A new healthy baby, a new love, a wedding are all joyous experiences and yet they can bring change that can turn your life upside down for awhile.

A divorce, a serious illness, or a loss can challenge us to the core as we adapt to the winds of change and fluctuating landscape we once knew.  Only you can know the truth about your own struggles or ability to flow with change.  Our perspective is our reality – how we think about it and how realistic our expectations are around the said change matter.  Change is by nature stressful – even good change, until our brains get wired to the new way of being and living. “Patience is a virtue” is no joke when in a transition or in coming to terms with big upsets.  Julia Cameron states that, “so often we try to live through the changes without experiencing them.” Resisting the difficult feelings only delays the truth, and sucks life that’s meant to be lived out of our days.  There are many ways and paths to embrace change and transform in soulful expansive ways.  Here are a few of my favorite ways to approach changes that I have learned through my own dance with resistance and accepting what is.

1) Surrender

Control what you can, but after that let go. Put it in God’s hands. Surrender is not defeat, it is allowing and trusting that you will figure out, with the help of your support tribe and your Higher Power, the next small step. We want instant gratification and for all to feel and be well forgetting that the process is changing us and growing us up to be more than we were before. It is possible to become wiser, more loving, more resilient, more able to serve others and flow with the reality that life is hard – and even have peace in the process. Realizing you can not control everything or get there on you own is sensible and can also be a relief. 

2)   Be Still and Honor Yourself

Take time to check in with your body and your heart. Acknowledge and feel the truth of your emotional self through the change. Accept and don’t judge the emotions, insights and intuition that come. Be with it. Cry with it, dance with it, journal it, whatever it is be friends with it and it will shift to the next awareness. There is no better way to be still than to practice meditation.  Take time every day to follow your breathe and be still. Practice extreme self-care including extra rest. Processing and living through changes depletes your energy.

3 )  Reach out for help

Seek supportive friends, or a professional to talk to as you acclimate into the new place. Listen to the wisdom of others who have navigated this change successfully and in a healthy way. Stay connected with that available knowledge for forward motion. There are so many sources of support today that you can access on your own about your change. Choose what feels best to you.  YouTube videos, podcasts, books, devotionals, and don’t forget prayer – grace has been my deepest source of strength.  Sometimes change leads us to new sources, awarenesses and to spiritual practices.

4) Time with Awareness

Giving ourselves time without actively working on and processing the emotional changes that are happening does nothing. We have to be engaged with our self, recognizing how we feel in the new present moment and being gentle with it all. Self-compassion during times of change is a gift to give yourself. In time, and it takes as long as it takes, you will turn around and say, “whew – I have made progress”, and then give yourself love for the new “normal” that you have created. There is often grief in change and this in itself is a natural process that’s brings immense growth if we allow it. Time alone does not heal.

5) Live Life with Curiosity and Openness

Life is capricious and there is no telling what change may be around the next bend. Our ability to bend and sway with the winds of change make all the difference. Anxiety is fear – fear of the future that is unfounded because it has not happened yet. Meditating and practicing mindfulness builds our muscles for living and being grounded in each present moment. We can do our best and that is all we can do.  Trust in the benevolent forces of God’s love and the Universe to care for you and keep you safe.

“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I’m changing myself.” ~ Rumi

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